I really did type “Andrew Garfield” while looking this man up. 

I learned about the details behind the 20th president of the United States’ death through a funny YouTube history video. Then I read a book about the events leading up to the first year of the American Civil War, and it took me till 3/4ths into the book to realize this James Garfield that I found myself quite liking a bunch was the same James Garfield that became president, and had to take a couple minutes to let that sadness sink in. Garfield was so interesting that someday I want to pick up his biography, but today is not that day. Today I focus on the unintentional hilarity of his killer’s life, Charles J. Guiteau. 

Here’s some interesting things about Guiteau. He joined the Oneida Community, an utopian religious sect which practiced group marriage, but in the five years he was there it seems no one really liked him. He thought he helped presidential candidate Horace Greeley in his campaign, (he didn’t). He obliged to his wife’s wish to divorce him and slept with prostitute (at the time one of the way divorce was granted was in case of infidelity). He eventually grew convinced he was like Paul the Apostle, sent for a greater, divine purpose at God’s orders, and him surviving a ship crash only reinforced this belief. He believed he had helped James Garfield win the presidential elections (he didn’t) and should be rewarded him a consulship (he wasn’t) and decided to take action. 

He chose his weapon based on how cool it would look on a museum exhibition of the assassination. The behavior he displayed on trial was also extremely bizarre. One of the most hilarious things he said was, “The doctors killed Garfield, I just shot him.” 

There’s much more to this case, but that’s all I feel like typing.